This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship

Hello Readers! Long time no speak. Last I left you, little Oakley was coming to our house. Well.....HE'S HEEEEERE! And he's ADORABLE.

We picked him up Friday, October 25th. Here is Greg and me at the airport. We got there early and naturally tracked Oakley's flight from departure to landing. We *might* have even parked at the airport in a spot that *might* be for loading and unloading UPS boxes. That is up for debate.

The first time we laid eyes on Oakley, we just knew he was a perfect fit in our family.

The kids fell in love with him!

And so did we:

Oakley has adjusted very well in our family.  He is battling giardia (that isn't exactly fun) but is being a trooper. It's been a battle the past few weeks but we hope to have an end in sight. For the most part, he is potty trained and we are working on mouthing and not eating everything he sees!

2013 Holiday Card

The day finally happened when I did not cry over Arlie. Oakley has brought smiles back to our house and joy back in our hearts. Yes, we still think about Arlie bear and we always will. I was going to put Arlie's little Halloween collar on Oakley as his "first necklace" but it was too big. Oakley has some growing to do.

I've been pondering if this will be my last blog entry about the journey of what brought Oakley in our lives. I wondered if I should do my final entry the day we found out Arlie was diagnosed (which is right around the corner on 11/23). Then, I decided...No. I promised Arlie when he passed that I would continue with life. So that is what we are going to do. Arlie brought us Oakley and we will now carry on just as he wanted.

I thought I had the final picture for this blog all set. Here it is...both of my babies:

Then, this morning my son Jackson surprised me. We have a whiteboard where the kids like to draw and work on their letters. Jackson took it upon himself to draw the below picture:

"Mommy, I drew a real life picture! That's me and Oakley playing in the house. Then on top is Arlie! He's smiling down at us from heaven because he's happy. He knows that we are happy again."

The End.

I've decided to start a new blog in honor of Mr. Mustache.

http://oakleysmustache.blogspot.com/

It's time for Mr. Man to have HIS voice.

4 months to the day

Our little Oakley is coming on Friday!!! In fact, his flight arrives at 2:11pm and you can bet that we will be there early to get our newest baby. Greg is taking Friday, Monday, and Tuesday off for "paternity leave"  :-) so that he can bond with little Oakley Doakley.

The Oakster has been in prep school the past two weeks and is of course excelling. Naturally, he's gifted and I can only assume the trainers are differentiating to accommodate his exceptional nature. That's right...I said it....my dog is a genius. And cute. And loving. And perfect. Here's a video taken with his trainer, Kristi.

Last night Greg and I were talking about how we need to puppy proof the house. I told the kids that they will have to make sure their beloved toys are put away or Oakley will think they are his! Gia looked at Jackson and said, "Yes! We need to make sure he doesn't eat anything cause then he will get sick and die like Arlie." Insert knife through my heart. I told Gia that this is different and that Arlie was very sick and it wasn't a toy that made him so. Jackson told me that he is so excited for Oakley to come because he doesn't want to be sad anymore. Again, insert another dagger through my heart.

I was looking at the calendar and realized that the day we get Oakley, is exactly the 4 month anniversary of Arlie's death. I started to get upset because I feel so guilty for being so excited about our new puppy coming. We used to call Arlie "Mr. Jealousy" because as soon as we showed affection to another dog, a little schnoodle head would pop in between to make us pet him. I asked Greg if he thinks that Arlie is jealous and upset we are moving on and getting another schnoo. Greg seems to think that Arlie will be so happy that we are giving more love to his nephew and knows that we need Oakley to help heal us. I'm still waiting for the day that I don't cry about Arlie. I hope it's coming soon. October 25th perhaps?

We're coming Oakley!!!! Our arms are open!

The torch has been passed

Before I do the big reveal on which puppy we are getting, I have some things I would like to say. First and foremost are my sincere thanks to the following:

The Oncology staff at the Hope Center in Vienna, VA. This wonderful team, led by Dr. Conor McNeill fought valiantly to save our beloved pet. We made an excellent team and worked so hard together to give Arlie the extra 7 months and 2 days of an active lifestyle. Even going through chemo, Arlie walked in there with a schnoodle smile because of the care he received. He could feel that all of the docs, techs, surgeons, admin staff, and every lab tech was pulling for him. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to our oncology guardians.

Secondly, none of this would have been possible without Smeraglia's Teddy Bear Schnoodles. I haven't really talked about this wonderful team on my blog because I have been so focused on telling you my stories about Arlie. What you do not know, is that Smeraglia's Teddy Bear Schnoodles was Arlie's first home. He was born 11/17/05 to parents Molly (giant schnauzer) and Merlin (mini poodle). In fact, Molly is still going strong at the ripe age of 13!!

This is Molly with her mommy, Beverly. As you can see, Arlie bear was her spitting image (with a tad curlier hair)--

Over the past 8 years, we have been in constant contact with Smeraglia giving them updates on Arlie. They have been "in the know" of everything from him becoming a big brother to his love for opening doors (yet another Molly trait). When we told them of Arlie's diagnosis, they were devastated with us. They knew how important this schnoodle was.

Through it all, I have had comfort knowing that Arlie came from a breeder that is the definition of excellence. They treat their dogs as part of their family. They keep up with everyone who has ever purchased a schnoodle or goldendoodle and arrange annual "doodle romps". This is an all star breeder that was started by a woman who had a passion for dogs (Sherri). She created a team that share her love and passion for the breed (YES...even though they are a 'mixed' they are still in fact a breed in my eyes). Among her staff is the woman you see above...Beverly. She was the first person we spoke to when we called Smeraglia 8+ years ago. She knew we were a newly married couple who have always wanted a dog. She told us there were 2 males available. One of which was this little guy. Look familiar?

 Here he is!!! Arlie Barley Pumpkin McFarley.

Over the past 8 years I loved sharing stories with Beverly about how her girl (Molly's) little boy was doing. She is the one who told me about Molly's mannerisms and we kept saying, "That's JUST like Arlie!!" We would laugh and then a few months would go by and we didn't talk until the next shenanigan that Arlie would do.

When we told Beverly about Arlie's diagnosis, I knew she was brokenhearted too. It was in her house that Arlie spent his first 8 weeks. It was with her 8 children that he learned the first things about love and understanding. She laid the ground work for what would be our sweet boy. And for that, we are indebted to Beverly. Greg and I see her as our friend and hope that we can one day meet in person. So, Beverly, if you are reading this....please know that you are a wonderful and special woman who made our first fur love.

Lastly, there has been a group of people that have shed tears, laughs, and first times with us. They have rooted Greg and me on in getting our new pup as well as provided strength in our sorrow. I'm talking about the forum of owners of Smeraglia schnoodle and doodles. They helped raise money in Arlie's name for cancer research, they have let me and my family cuddle their dogs when we need puppy fixes, they have encouraged me to keep my head up, and lastly they have become my friends. To all of my fellow doodle owners...thank you.

Now, onto the other reason for this post. I have news!!!!! Would you like to know who the next member of the Hayken family is going to be??

Drumroll.....

First of all, here's Mama (Arlie's half sister)-

And here's Daddy-

Together they created-

Fellow readers, friends, family...introducing...

OAKLEY MOUSTACHIO HAYKEN

Now that you are done clapping, let me tell you where this name came from. As you know, Arlie's full name was Arlington Bear Hayken. We got him when we lived in Arlington...hence...Arlie. Now, we live in Oak Hill. We pondered and pondered. Do we go with the city name? Do we name him with a name that has Arlie in it (Charlie). Then we decided...no. It's time to "carry on". The torch has been passed to a new generation of schnoodles. And, we still have a piece of Arlie in Oakley as he is his nephew (Molly is his grandmother!). However, Oakley will be his own schnoodle. He will be loved. He is SO VERY WANTED. He is our healer. 

Oh, and if you are thinking..."moustachio? Really?"  Yup. Like his uncle before him, Oakley's first home was Beverly's. Her children gave him the nickname "moustachio". Therefore, it will stick. And if you are wondering why...um....well...check out that stash man!!!!! Be prepared for some serious comparisons to those that have perfected the mustache. 

Tonight Greg said we are entering a new phase in our life. This is the phase that the kids will remember. Oakley is their dog. He will be the dog that they grow up with and form a serious bond. If I say they are excited, that is an understatement. But do you remember when I said that this blog will continue until we are a healed family? Well, we are nearing the end. Our hearts have band aids on them. Oakley is bringing the joy back to our house. I can't seem to change my screensaver on my phone yet from Arlie. That will take some time. But, I know that Oakley Doakley Artichoky (names are starting) will understand.

Until the next post...
Love and paws,
Andrea, angel Arlie, and Oakley

Something that has been in my thoughts

Today a friend of mine had to say goodbye to her beloved cat. Her kitty, Aspen, was diagnosed with cancer soon after Arlie's diagnosis. She and I cried together and laughed at stories at how silly our pets are...or I guess I should say...were.

It brought back some sad feelings again knowing that she is going through what we went through. Or rather, are STILL going through.

Someone wrote these words and it's something I hold dear:

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.  His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flyig over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look one more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

I wanted to show my readers pics of Arlie with how we remember him. Strong, kind, and incredibly wonderful all around.

He held firm to his spot on the couch. Even with 2 human kids trying to get in there.

"Yes, she's all over me but if you ever say anything bad about her, you answer to me"

They traded toys for a bit.

Fur pillow started early

This is the first time Arlie met Jackson. He never left his side.

I haven't forgotten

I know. I still owe you a post about the future puppy. Truth is we don't know yet!!!! We find out this week. I promise as soon as we know, you'll be next to find out. I realize...inquiring minds want to know!

2 months .... will it get any easier?

Today is the 2 month anniversary of our sweet boy's passing. It is starting to get easier. I don't cry nearly as much and the kids are starting to realize that Arlie is not coming back from dog heaven. There are still two books they enjoy reading: "Dog Heaven" and "For Every Dog and Angel". I worry that reading these books still will hinder their acceptance of either a new dog or of Arlie passing. But, when they look at the illustrations, and see a black dog and point and say, "Look! There's Arlie Bear!!" I know that it is the right thing.

In all of our grieving, I have forgotten that there are others that are having a hard time with the loss of Arlie Bear. First, Arlie's sweet cousin Jessie. She is my brother's greyhound and every so often when they go on trips, we get to take care of her. Jessie has known Arlie since he was 8 weeks old. Heck, she helped raise him! She showed him how to go up the steps, corrected his behavior when he was a little too puppy rambunctious, chased each other in the yard (boy did he get frustrated when he couldn't catch her!), snuggled up to him, and loved him so much. In fact, Jessie was with us the week we said goodbye to Arlie. I should have known that something was up because she never left his side. She kept sniffing his chest and would forgo her bed (the only thing she would lay down on) to lay on the carpet next to him. She knew. When we came home from seeing "M", it was Jessie that ran up to us and buried her snout in our necks. She put her paw on us (just as Arlie would do), and let us cry. She comforted us. With that, we forgot that she is grieving as well. Now, when she comes to our house to stay while my brother and his family are on vacation, she doesn't eat, she walks around the house just looking for her cousin.  Now, two months later she still looks for him.

I know you are thinking they are having a tiff. Nope, this is Arlie (about 4 month old here) pouncing on his big cousin and her playing back. We just captured this part on camera

When Arlie got too rowdy, she corrected him lovingly but firmly

Jessie is such a love and misses her Arlie so much

Then there's Cooper, Arlie's best friend. We had him a couple of weeks ago when his family went to the beach. He and Arlie have been BFFs since both were 12 weeks old. They would wrestle so much that it got to the point when they were so exhausted they only lifted their front leg to paw the other on the face while laying down. They couldn't even stand anymore they were so exhausted from romping! At any rate, Cooper is a Wheaten Terrier. Therefore, his nose is quite strong and he has been known to sniff out food and other delectable treats (dirty diapers, garbage, underwear, etc..), thus getting him in trouble. Before they left, his parents kept telling us, "Do not leave food out on the counter...he will find it. If you can't find him, look for him! He might be getting into something!" They call Coop-ster their "needy wheaty". You get the hint, don't leave him alone. Well, when we had him I realized when I looked down there was no Cooper. "Uh oh, I left him alone and now he's eating the kid's favorite toys and they are going to scream and say that Cooper needs to go in time out and that 'what he did was unacceptable'". I bounded through the house and couldn't find him. Then I heard him stretching and I follow the sound to the living room. He had decided to not be with me in the kitchen and joined Arlie's ashes in the living room. He spent the rest of the week laying beside his best friend. He truly was Arlie's best friend to the end.

My point is that it's not only us grieving. Dogs grieve too.

I hope to update the blog this week with an announcement and picture of our newest family member. I will reveal the name once we get the official word.

Until then,
Love and paws,
Andrea and angel Arlie

Pitter patter of little feet?

Tomorrow is the one month anniversary of Arlie's death. It has been a very hard month for us. Everytime we start to feel better, we find something that reminds us of Arlie. It is kind of amazing that Arlie has visited all of our dreams this past month. I told you about Jackson's dream already. A week after his dream, Greg had a dream that he was curled up next to Arlie in bed. He told me it felt so real and he woke up calmed. I was starting to hope that Arlie would visit me in my dreams and then...he did! I dreamt that we had decided to get new hardwood floors throughout the house (random) and in one spot they forgot to put wood and there was a huge hole. As I was on all fours peering down the hole a schnoodle nose came up along the side of me. He lay down next to me watching me and nudging me with his nose. I remember thinking in my dream that this was, infact, a dream and wondering if I would be able to feel him since it wasn't real. He was looking at me and I decided to try and when I put my hand on his ears and neck I got to feel Arlie one more time. It was amazing. I remember thinking, "This is a dream and it isn't real but I don't care I never want it to end". I then laid down next to Arlie and he curled into me making his happy schnoodle noises he used to make. This time, it was my turn to wake up with a smile.

The day I woke up from that amazing dream, I found out that we will be schnoodle parents once again. In mid August it has almost been confirmed that Arlie's half sister will give birth to a litter of pups! That means, the Hayken household will hear the pitter patter of four little feet in mid/late October!!! We told the owner to give Malaya (the birth mom) extra treats from us. After all, Malaya is growing our little heart band aid in there!!! She deserves serious treats for that right?!?!?!?

Now, as you know Arlie's real name is "Arlington" after the city Greg and I were married and lived when we got Arlie Bear. We have since moved out of  Arlington and already have a name for our next pup already! It's going to be good. We will let you know once we have the little pup in our hands.

Jackson has already proclaimed this new puppy will be his "best buddy" and Gia has said that he will be "her newest pillow pet". Naturally Greg and I are super excited as well. You know who else is super excited???? My readers, friends, and family, neighbors, and a part of Arlie I think. He knows we have more love to give and wants us to be his happy humans. This new pup is going to be one loved and VERY wanted little guy.

Carry on.....

Love and Paws,
Andrea and angel Arlie

Message from a schnoo

My son came into my room yesterday with a big smile on his face. He told me he had a wonderful dream about Arlie. In his dream, the whole family was watching Arlie play with an angel and having such a great time. When they were finished playing, they went back up to the stars but not before Arlie let Jackson pet him one more time.

When Jackson first told me this story, I had to hide my tears because naturally it made me sad. Then, I thought about it all day and slept on it last night. This morning I went up to Jackson and said, "Honey, I've been giving a lot of thought to the dream you had with Arlie. I think it was Arlie's way of telling you he is happy and feels healthy and is ok so that you can stop feeling sad about him being gone."  Jackson's face lit up. He told me again what a great dream it was and I told him how lucky he was to be chosen out of everyone in the family that Arlie paid a visit. Arlie must have loved him so very much to go to him first. 

The kids keep asking about a new dog. I told him we are getting one but have to wait for the perfect dog that I know Arlie will pick out for us and that it probably isn't born just yet. We are waiting for a much wanted pregnancy confirmation of Arlie's half sister. Therefore, we would be getting Arlie's neice/nephew. Wouldn't that be wonderful??? The very thought of it makes me smile. I can't get a thought of a brown dog with a white chest out of my head.

I was cleaning behind the couch today and found 2 of Arlie's favorite toys. I started to get blue all over again. One step forward, two steps back. I know this sounds strange, but Greg and I keep seeing Arlie on quick glances and hearing him thump around our halls. When I go for a run, I see him running beside me with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth all long and pink. Greg and I think little angel Arlie is waiting until a new pup comes along to fill the doggy void. Sounds crazy as I type it. Man, we miss him.

Today was just so....final

I picked up Arlie's ashes today. I wasn't expecting to walk into the Hope Center and have my heart racing and my palms sweaty....but they were. It seems like it's just so final. Arlie is gone but his legacy lives on.

To date we have collected $1176 in Arlie's name for canine cancer research. Donations came in nationwide in support of a schnoodle who gave so much and was so strong. I'm so proud of you Arlie Bear. You did it.

Almost halfway to our goal!!!

I just can't believe it. I logged onto the Friends are the Cure site today and we are almost half way to our goal of $1000.

Let me just say...to those that have donated just from learning about Arlie through this blog, I have no words to express my thanks and sincere gratitude. It is just amazing how Arlie is bringing out such generosity from people he hasn't even met!!!! I was saddened to see that some of those wonderful people who have donated have also experienced loss of their furry friend.

Let's have a moment to think of not only Arlie. But also Bennie, Nero, and Peaches. You will forever live in our hearts and the pain of you being gone is still so strong. However, your owners and I are going to carry on just as you would want us to.

If you have a spare moment (and spare change) please consider donating to the fight against canine cancer.

www.wearethecure.org/friends/arliesarmy

Kind regards,
Andrea and angel Arlie

Time to kick the crap out of the big "C"

I have started a page in honor of Arlie where the proceeds go entirely to canine cancer research. If you have any free change (and time) Arlie would greatly appreciate it. Here is the link:

Cancer Sucks. Let's beat it

Carry on

I went running yesterday. Now, you have to understand that I am notorious amongst my friends and hubby for having bad taste in music. They "claim" that I have the song collection of a 13 year old girl. I say this because as I was running listening to the Glee station on Pandora radio (don't judge me....) a song came on that made me run a little faster and put a smile on my face. I went home and watched the video on you tube and thought, "Stupid beginning of a video but still a great song." Listen if you'd like (but you might want to skip to the 50 second mark).

Time to carry on!!! Greg and I have decided to definitely get a new dog after the healing is done and the summer is over. We are thinking in the Fall. I know Arlie will understand. I believe he's on the rainbow bridge ready to shake his paw at us to stop crying and get on with life and with joy. As we all know, what a schnoodle wants...a schnoodle gets!

Where do we go from here???

I have received so many emails and comments from Arlie's readers on this blog. Thank you so much for your kind words and expressing your condolences.

We knew this past weekend that this might be happening. When we talked to M he said that we are making the kindest and most loving decision we can for our sweet boy. If this was the best decision, why does it hurt so much???? The hardest part of losing a beloved member of your family is the first time you walk in the door. We were clutching Arlie's leash and collar and we had the vet techs shave off some of his hair. I know this sounds nuts, but I still stick my fingers in that bag that holds his fur and pet it.

My son is taking the news the worst. He cried himself to sleep last night clutching his Arlie stuffed animal all the while saying, "Oh Arlie. I miss you so much. Arlie...I want another huggie. Please come back". He woke up this morning crying again and he is trying so hard to be brave. I can tell. But, he is grieving so hard and is so upset. My daughter is doing a bit better and keeps saying, "I want Arlie bear!! I hate this day!!" (she's 3). As I"m typing this, my son is looking at old pictures of Arlie that are in an album over and over again. I hear him saying the angels shouldn't get Arlie cause he's our dog.

He also keeps asking if we are going to get a new dog. We will. Honestly, I thought we would wait such a long time because the pain is just so great. But now I'm realizing, I need another dog soon. The doorbell rang this morning and my instinct was to brace my ears for the sound of a schnoodle bark. However, when it rang....and there was nothing....it made the pain real. We will never hear Arlie's deep bark again.

My son is right....the angels shouldn't get him. He's OUR dog.

People are asking if I will continue this blog. I owe it to Arlie to end this blog as a healed family. We started it with such pain and sorrow with the diagnosis. I want to have the last entry be with a smile because that is what Arlie would want from us. To continue life and know that he is watching over us and will take good care of our family. So yes, blog posts will continue. Just not as often. Please check back every so often to see how we are doing.

Love and paws,
Andrea and Greg and of course, our schnoodle angel Arlie.

Kids saying goodbye before we brought him to M

Arlington Bear Hayken 11/17/05-6/25/13

It is with a very heavy heart that I tell my readers about the passing of one of the toughest, kindest, most loving dogs there is.

Arlington (Arlie) died in Greg and my arms this morning at 11:05EST. We held him close all the while telling him how much we loved him. Arlie has taught us so very much. He taught us how to be parents for when our human babies came along, he taught our children how to be kind and loving to animals, and most of all he taught us that the loyalty of a dog truly is first and foremost.

Oh Arlie, our hearts hurt and please watch over us on that rainbow bridge. I will post more later but for now we are regrouping with this major loss.

Love and paws,
Andrea and Arlie

Life's a beach

As promised, we took Arlie to the beach with what might be his last time. We joined our friends who have a condo in Dewey Beach, DE. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was probably one of the best weekends we have had to relax and watch Arlie play.

Arlie with his brother and sister

A romp with his girl, Bella.

One happy schnoodle

Arlie's girl is a swimmer. Bella loves going out into the ocean to find sticks. Arlie, on the other hand, not so much. He never has been a water dog. When she went out a little too far for his liking, he made sure to bark and let us know and tell her that that was unacceptable.

All tuckered out after a long day in the surf. Yes, Bella is kissing Arlie's paw. And yes, Arlie lets her.

What I haven't mentioned is that the past few days Arlie has developed a terrible cough. It almost sounds like a child with croup. Today was the first day that he did it so many times he had trouble catching his breath. I don't know if it is from the cancer or if he picked something up at the beach. We go in on Tuesday for another xray and they will check his lungs and front leg. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, here's a pic of our son and his favorite friend before bedtime.

A boy and his dog

We have been hearing from so many people, "Just love him and spoil Arlie as long as you can." Well, as you can see from the above picture, my son feels that Arlie needs a sip of water. So, what better way then to bring it to him...in a cup....with a twist of lemon.

My daughter was sort of in a mood the other day. When she cries, Arlie cries. He feels that it is his job to tell me that his sibling is upset or agitated (like I don't already know).

"Anticipatory Grief"

M had some pamphlets and books in his office titled, "Making Decisions". I really haven't read it. I can't read it because it makes this hell so real. As you can imagine, we are having a very hard time with this diagnosis. I have been shedding more tears then can be counted and I keep shaking my head like this is a terrible dream. Greg has read the book and told me I am experiencing something called "anticipatory grief". You think????

Here's what this book says about anticipatory grief:

"Common anticipatory grief emotions include anxiety, anger, denial, or guilt: anxiety about have to say goodbye to your pet, anger that your pet is sick, denial about the seriousness of your pet's condition, or guilt about things you believe you may have done that contributed to your pet's condition."

Let's see, in the past few days I have:

1) Had what I think is my first anxiety attack as I couldn't calm my hands from shaking
2) Anger that it is MY beloved pet that has to go through this
3) Denial it isn't as bad as it seems and that Arlie could be the pup that goes years after a "shadow" on his lung....It's a shadow right? I mean, it can't be a tumor? And if it is a tumor perhaps it's just benign and coincidence that it is there?
4) Writing M convinced (after reading the internet) that we did this with the food we gave him or the vaccines Arlie has had in his life. Asking if if it was US that caused this? He wrote back the following:

Hi Andrea,
In short: No.  There is NO scientific evidence to link that with the
development of osteosarcoma.  I don't know why people put that out
there. Please remember, you did not cause this or could have done
anything different to prevent it from occurring in Arlie.
For osteosarcoma, there are certain predisposing factors such as bone
implants and prior radiation to the leg that have been linked to the
cancer in some dogs.  Also, pure breeds are more affected than mix breed
dogs in general, and large and giant breeds are predisposed to getting
bone cancer. However, cancer can strike any dog. Please read those
reports on the internet with caution (no editor keeping checks on those
reports and everyone is an 'expert').
I hope this helps you, have a good weekend, and please give Arlie a big
hug from me,

I'm reading this email for the millionth time right now and thinking, "Let's see....bone implants? No. Prior radiation? No. Pure breeds? No. Large or Giant Breed? His father is a mini for heavens sake!!! Cancer can strike any dog? Crap. 

I use this blog as my therapy. It's kind of like I'm pouring my heart out to people that I don't know and can judge me for being THIS sad about a dog. Here there are people in this world that are losing their loved humans to cancer and I'm crying and can't get a grip about my dog! I figure if you are reading this blog, you too love dogs and maybe even have a place in your heart for Arlie Barley.

Kindness of others

I forgot to mention something that happened Tuesday after we found out the diagnosis. Greg and I were standing by our car outside in the parking lot of the Hope Center trying to comfort and gather ourselves before we went home to face the kids.

A woman came out of the Hope Center with a cat in her carrier. She put the cat in her car and walked over to us and said, "I know this is none of my business. But, if this is a matter of financial issues I would be more than happy to pay for something. Do you need money? I'm more than happy to pay for a procedure if you need it."

Greg and I thought that was so nice. It actually stopped my tears briefly and brought a smile to my face at the humanity of others. We told her how kind that was but in our case it was a matter of time at this point.

It's amazing what pets can do to the hearts of owners. This woman had no idea who we were. She saw we were suffering and our dog in the backseat and offered something so amazing. There truly are kind people out there.

Final decision

Yesterday we met with M because we both needed to hear him say it. We needed him to say that we have done all we can and that this cancer is just so aggressive, we can't seem to stop it or slow it down. He showed us the XRAY in which Arlie has a 2" tumor on his left lung. Right now you would never know he was sick. Honestly, he's running around and playing and enjoying life.

M went over our options. We could try oral chemo at $700/month (which at this point is out of our budget) or just enjoy Arlie for what might be his last few weeks/months. To date we have spent nearly $13,000 to save our dog (including amputation and meds) and we just can't do anymore. Especially since Arlie is so drug sensitive that it's most likely that this will make him sick or not do anything but prolong his life a month.


M looked at us and said that Arlie has put up a great fight and is super strong and it's our choice. We looked at eachother and decided that we will live out our final days with Arlie and no longer medicate him or change chemos. We have tried so hard and Arlie has fought so valiantly. M told us that right now Arlie doesn't know he's sick (he didn't tell him and neither have we) and to "live it up".

I sat in M's office and said, "We've done this for nothing. We've mutilated our baby by taking off his leg. Given him 6 rounds of chemotherapy....for nothing." M told me that it definitely was not for nothing as we would've had only a couple months with Arlie if that. We have bought Arlie another 8 months.   We have given him 8 extra months in which he has seen his sister complete her first year of preschool, he has seen us through another move and met our neighbors and their kids and furbabies (and he approves greatly BTW), another holiday season, another trip to the beach, endless amounts of cuddles and snuggles, romps, tug of wars, affection, free babysitting (of his brother and sister), and lastly, he has taught Greg and me that the love of a dog is unending and unconditional.

So....here we are. Today I bought a huge amount of freeze dried chicken. I will get some rotisserie (he's a sucker for it), he will hit the beach one final time with his girl Bella (neighbor's golden) and we will throw that tennis ball and walk him until he's decided he's had enough. At the first sign of trouble, we will go to M for a second opinion and then give him the same dignity in the end as he has had in life. He deserves this. We are so lucky to have had him for this long.

I circled the tumor that has invaded Arlie's lung. It's hard to see but it is that shadow.

We went on Amazon and found this dog. It is Arlie as a puppy EXACTLY. We have decided to cut off the front right leg and sew it back together and keep that in memory of our boy. We want to remember him as the fighter he is.

Truly devastated

Arlie went in for his 7th round of chemo and an xray to check his lungs for possible metastases. We brought him in this morning and just heard from M. There is a 2" nodule on his lung that cannot be mistaken for cancer that has spread. Arlie is not in pain. He is not having trouble breathing yet. But, after all of this, the cancer is trying to claim him.

Devastated cannot begin to describe the feelings we have right now. My stomach in in knots. I feel so sick and I can't look at my children in fear they will know that their Mommy can't even breathe at the notion of losing my furbaby.

Arlie was supposed to be there to pick Jackson up from the bus stop on his first day of school. Arlie was supposed to be there to help drop Gia off the following year at the bus stop too. He was supposed to watch his brother and sister grow and see them as adolescents. Now, I'm afraid that my 3 and 5 year old won't remember him. They are so little and although Arlie has been there from the beginning, there is a chance they won't remember how Arlie would sleep in their beds on the nights they were sick. Or how he would be first in the car to pick them up from preschool. Or that they will never find a pillow quite as soft as a schnoodle. And they will never have a friend as loyal as their doggy.

Where do we go from here? We are weighing our options. If we do nothing, M said we might not have until the end of the summer. If we do an oral chemo, it might give us a few more months...if that. We have put so much time, money, and emotion into this...I just don't know if we can keep on going. The amount of money we have spent, has strapped us. I hate hate hate that finances are a concern and I'm so so angry that we can't do more.

Next Tuesday we get more answers

Arlie is due for his chemo in a week. We asked to postpone it until after Memorial Day because it's not only his 7th round of chemo but he will also get another xray of his lungs. We felt we wanted to spend the 3 day weekend with lots of schnoodle love and happiness and were worried that if we received bad news, it would be a long weekend of grief and tears.

We will know more soon.

Love and paws,
Andrea and Arlie

Arlie with 3/4 of his posse

(L-R--Brinkley, Bella, Arlie)

Here's the schnoodle with 2 of his posse (missing Pepper the black lab). This is pretty typical of the dogs (to rest after gnawing on each other).

Sixth round complete!

Woohoo!!! What was supposed to be Arlie's last treatment is now only 6/8. We go back in a month to get a xray of his lungs (trying to remain calm) and will enjoy this month in bliss and ignorance.

On another note, have any of you seen this clip:

Dog uses potty

Do you think this is real????? If so, I'm ON it!!

Seriously??? Again Arlie????

Last week I made a huge mistake. I was in a rush to take the kids to soccer and in my rush I didn't put away a rotisserie chicken from the counter. Instead, I pushed it behind the toaster thinking there was no way a 3 legged dog could get it.

I went to soccer and didn't think anything of it. When I returned, I was greeted by a schnoodle with a gleam in his eye and grease on his snout. I looked in the kitchen and saw an empty container where the chicken had been. All that was left was a piece of string and a plastic container. Bones, meat, skin, fat, everything had been consumed by Arlie.

Now you might be thinking...."Way to go Andrea" or "It's a chicken, how bad could it be". Well, let's rewind to Nov 2008 where Arlie had done this very same thing. Two days later, he had explosive diarrhea in Greg's car and all over our house. Fast forward to 2 days after that and we were at the Hope Center (the very same where he gets his chemo) getting him on IVs and hydrated again as he was severely dehydrated. $2000 later...he was just fine.

I had visions of that bill in my head when I saw that container on the floor and promptly called our vet. He said the chicken wasn't the issue but it was the bones. I also called 'M" who confirmed the same thing...bones=bad. I got some prescription ID dog food and hoped and hoped that we wouldn't have a repeat of 5 years ago. I even slept on the couch in case he was having stomach issues! He seemed to do just fine. I freaked out for nothing but it was just the cherry on top of my week in which I thought I broke my hand (false alarm), Arlie ate the chicken, Greg was out of town on business, and my son needs his tonsils and adenoids out.

Fiddly dee...tomorrow is another day.

Sitting here with a schnoodle on my foot

There was an article posted on Facebook on the Tripawed forum (yep, we are members) about a dog that has beaten osteosarcoma. Here is what the owners of this adorable 3 pawed Golden Retriever had to say:

It is almost two years to the day that Carter was diagnosed with osteosarcoma. Over the last two years Carter has had six rounds of chemo with a follow-up daily metronomic chemo therapy. A few days ago we called our oncologist to request a refill on his chemo. To our surprise, they informed us that there was a possibility that Carter may have beat the rare odds of this horrid disease and directed us to have complete bloodwork done in addition to a series of xrays. They said if they were all clear, he is most likely cancer free and today, he had that bloodwork and those xrays and they were all clear !! We were told there are no signs of cancer. Now we wait to see if his metronomic chemo is to continue or not from the university of guelph oncology department.

I've been reading and reading all of these dog cancer sites and so many say that with chemo, a dog has a 10-20% chance of going into remission. I read those words and I start having visions of Arlie being in that small percentage. I even think ahead to the day that "M" says that Arlie is one of the few that has beaten this awful disease. Unfortunately, I cannot get too excited because I'm trying to be realistic. Will Arlie be like the dog Carter I talked about in this post? Is it possible? Sure. I feel like after our next xray I will have more answers. Right now it's just an awful waiting game.

As I type this, I'm sitting here with a schnoodle on my feet and every so often I take a break from the keyboard to scratch his favorite spot of under his chin. He doesn't seem sick. He's on his meds and is doing relatively well with his chemo treatments. The bloodwork is starting again this week and we know that in the past it is next week that his wbc fall. 

Cancer sucks.  

5th round down...3? to go

We finished our 5th round of chemo. Arlie did great as usual. "M" told me to prepare ourselves to the thought we might have to do a total of 8 instead of 6. Arlie has been having lower doses of chemo so we have to extend the amount he has so that he has enough in his system to slow the cancer down.

We go back in a month for the 6th round and will evaluate after his xray (in 2 months from now).

Stage 5....Acceptance

Two weeks ago I was on my upteenth call with "M" discussing Arlie's bloodwork. As I mentioned in my previous post, it seems our little fella is a 4 week between chemo patient. He just has such a sensitivity to drugs that it tends to affect him a bit longer than it would any other pooch.

At any rate, in my talk with "M" and my daily stresses about Arlie being "slightly off" or "not running as fast chasing the ball", he gave me advice that pretty much stopped me in my tracks. He told me...and I quote, "Andrea, you need to stop looking for things and enjoy the wonderful time that you have left."  I have to admit, when he said that to me I felt my stomach drop. It sounded so...final. Yes, Arlie is doing great. Yes, he's responding to the chemo well. Yes, he's still the active and playful and snuggly pup...but I keep hearing "enjoy the time that you have left." When he told me that I tried to hold it together because it sounded like there could be an end in sight. I had been in the "denial" stage for so long that I forgot to look at him and realize, he's with us now and he's fine and he loves us.

Arlie is a fighter. He's fighting this awful diagnosis because he knows how much we love him and like any loyal dog, he would do anything to make his family happy and proud of him.

"M" is right. I need to stop obsessing and enjoy the time that I have left with my shnoop-ah-doop (another pet name).

Love and paws,
Andrea and Arlie

He's a 4 week pup

Last week Arlie's WBC was once again too low to do the chemo. "M" says, "He's just a 4 week pups!"

We try again this Friday.

Arlie poses as a babysitter

 This is an older video when my son was 1.5 years old and was being entertained by the best babysitter there is...our Arlie Barley!


https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=202791587596&l=7075382413542836910

Bloodwork in...still fine

"M" called. The bloodwork is looking good. That isn't so surprising because Arlie usually gets a low WBC on the 3rd week post chemo (which will be next week). Arlie has his 5th chemo treatment next Friday and "M" will do his usual bloodwork beforehand to see how he's doing.

Stay tuned.

We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to say.....

Go JMU DUUUUUUUUUUUKES!!!!!!

And for your reading pleasure:

http://www.wset.com/story/21752792/jmu-dukes-win-ncaa-tournament-opener

Sorry, although this isn't about the schnoodle, it is in fact about another dog. The James Madison University Duke Dog (my alma mater). Bring it Indiana!! Tune in Friday to watch the biggest upset in NCAA history!!! Arlie will be sporting his purple and gold and barking to the beat of a victory.

Trickery and chasing tail

I think Arlie's trickster ways are coming out once again. He is not wanting to eat unless there is freeze dried liver in his bowl and/or chicken and rice. Naturally his finickiness got me all worried and I was going to email "M" to ask what we should do. Alas, I held it together and did not email him....I instead stalked him in the preschool pick up line and asked him if I could double Arlie's appetite stimulant. He told me that I couldn't do that as it messes with chemicals in the schnoo's brain. Therefore, Greg and I will continue to feed into Arlie's picky nature and give him liver treats and his chicken and rice.

Today Arlie came in the house with his chuck it stick and a tennis ball INSIDE the chuck it stick's ball part. Think he was giving me a hint?

Next video...the ladies love them some schnoodle luvin'

Tripawd vs. 4 legged lab

Watch to see who wins...

2 days post chemo and we have a case of the yucks

Arlie has a big case of the yucks. For some reason, this chemo treatment has hit him a little bit harder than previous ones. He vomited this morning (once again, asked to go out to do so) which was unusual because he ate last night. He vomited bile which is his MO when he has an empty stomach. He is on the anti nausea meds and the stimulant. We mixed some wet food with his dry food last night and this morning and he ate that up. I was happy to see that he even ate his dry food that we had up in our bedroom in his bowls (yes, our dog has water and food bowls in our master bath and in the laundry room).

I will do my best not to email "M" with my stress and see how Arlie does this week. This is huge for me! To not run to my email and ask him why Arlie had the hiccups or that he looked at me strangely or that he jumped on the right side of the couch when he has always loved the left side... which brings me to my next topic.  Lately, I've been taping old "Friends" episodes to watch while I'm folding laundry and cleaning up. This particular one was on where Ross and Rachel are dumped by their pediatrician because Rachel is harassing him so much and asking so many questions. Now I know that "M" wouldn't "dump" us but when this episode came on, I was laughing out loud because it's a conversation that Greg and I have about Arlie. Greg tells me I need to calm down and not email "M" with every hiccup that our schnoodle has. So, I shall try. Now keep in mind, I think "M" is fantastic and Greg and I don't start our conversations the way Ross and Rachel did in the below clip, but it still made me chuckle....which is good cause I need a good chuckle every now and then.

4 down....? to go

Chemo treatment 4 is complete! "M" checked Arlie out and cleared him for launch so we went ahead with the treatment. Earlier this week we were a little concerned that Arlie was being a little too careful on his walks and trying to shorten his time outside. We had a couple of nice days where I threw the ball for him and his girl, Bella, and he took the bait and ran and ran and ran to get every ball I threw their way.

This past Wednesday it snowed. For the folks reading this blog that aren't on the east coast, DC had a storm nicknamed "snowquestration." It was a lot of hype and in the end, didn't really amount to much. Arlie had a blast taking down every attempt of the kids snowman. The kids would form a snowball and then came a black ball of fur using his one paw to rip it apart. The kids found it comical. Arlie loved it.

Here is a video of Arlie playing with Pepper. Another new friend in the neighborhood.

Arlie in the snow

Fast forward to today and the treatment. We have added another pill to Arlie's repertoire....deramaxx. This helps for arthritis. Hopefully Arlie isn't getting this but with him being careful with his leg we assume he's getting sore from being a tripawed. With the deramaxx I noticed on his discharge papers we need to also give him Pepcid. So let's review what we give our pill loving dog....SMZ (antibiotics), Deramaxx (arthritis), Anti Nausea meds, Appetite stimulant, and pepcid. The good news is he only needs the nausea meds and stimulant about a week post treatment so we don't get a puppy that doesn't want to eat. "M" has lowered Arlie's carboplatin as he's just so drug sensitive. He doesn't want to lower it anymore as it become ineffective. Therefore, we will evaluate after the 6th (and what was supposed to be his final treatment) if we need to give him 2 more.

When I picked Arlie up from his treatment, the tech said to me, "Arlie was amazing again as always. He is such a great dog. He's our favorite patient right now." You would think that I would have said, "Aww, that's nice" or "Thank you he is a great dog." Nope, I said, "I know!!!!! I mean naturally he's your favorite as he's awesome!!". When I told Greg about this convo he said, "You didn't really say that did you??" I said, "Yes because it's true."  Do I need to work on my humility?? Nope. Because let's face it...he IS awesome.

Greg asked "M" how the presentation went. "M" told him how he ended his presentation on a slide of Arlie and the whole room was silent and did a collective, "Awww" and Arlie is the message of hope. When he told me that I cried. Arlie sure is. He's AWESOME!!!! Period. Exclamation point. End of post.

P.S. This blog has now reached Ireland!! Glad that you are enjoying this blog!

Should I be stressing?

Arlie has been a little careful on his front leg lately. I'm hoping he tweaked it jumping off the bed. Then again, the last time I thought that he was diagnosed with OS. I saw "M" this morning at preschool dropoff (did I mention our kids go to school together?) and told him about it. He wanted me to take his temp (Arlie's....not "M's") and let him know. It might just be a case of feeling the yucks.Good news is Arlie's temp is normal at 101.

We might need another xray on Friday before chemo. Yuck. It might just be to calm mom and dad down and make sure the cancer isn't spreading to his other bones. So now, what else to do this week but stress.

Here's the promised video of Arlie and his new girl Bella. She is checking him out from behind her fence and was pawing and crying for some schnoodle attention. So he ended up catching the ball and sitting next to her so they can be close. What can I say...the ladies love him.

Rejected

Guess you can tell my the subject line of the blog what happened yesterday for what was supposed to be Arlie's 4th round of chemo. Once again his white blood cells were too low for "M" to treat Arlie safely. Therefore, we will try again next Saturday and in the meantime we continue with Arlie's antibiotics.

Big fat bummer.

Who is a rock star and has 3 paws...THIS dog

Guess whose little black schnoodle face is going to be a topic of conversation at an oncology presentation focusing on OS in dogs. You guessed it, Arlie. "M" emailed me and asked if he could talk about Arlie and show some pics of the process. Naturally, I said of course and proceeded to send him about a billion photos of Arlie. Greg was ready to have "M" borrow Arlie for the day to prance him in front of all the docs to show off his awesomeness. I told Greg that we couldn't do that because Arlie is having his 4th round of chemo the day before the presentation (as if THAT is the only reason he can't be there). We really are THOSE fur parents.

No news on his bloodwork so I'm assuming that no news is good news.

Yesterday, Arlie threw up for the first time since starting chemo. I really don't think it has anything to do with his condition because he tends to throw up on an empty stomach. He doesn't always eat his breakfast or dinner when we give it to him because he follows us around the house instead worried we are leaving. When he throws up (when not eating) it's bile and that is how he has always been (since he's a puppy). He probably does it 1x a month and I've talked to the vets about it in the past and they don't seem concerned. Anywho, I have a point to this story. Yesterday he came up to me and was licking his lips and I said, "Arlie, did you just throw up?" He looks at the door and I let him out and he runs out and then throws up in the yard. I mean...COME ON....whose dog asks to be let out to be sick??? Anyone??? Anyone? I know he's MY dog but really, can there BE a smarter dog???? I think not!!!!!!!!!!

Lastly, tonight I'm taking video at how good we are getting with taking our medicine. We have it down to a science. You won't believe it. In fact, watch closely as if you blink you might miss it.

Bloodwork again tomorrow

Tomorrow we go in for Arlie's weekly blood work up. It's usually 2 weeks post chemo that we see a little drop in his WBCs. As soon as I hear, I'll make sure to keep you posted.

We've moved and Arlie has a new girlfriend

We are up to our ears (and tails) in boxes. Greg and I have manged to unpack most of them but we are still in the process of getting settled into our new house. Hence, the lack of blog postings.

The good news, I have taken some time aside to blog about our wonder pup! Arlie is doing very well and his third round of chemo was a breeze. He hasn't had any side effects and is handling the chemicals so well. We are giving him the anti nausea meds and appetite stimulant just in case for 5 days post chemo and that seems to be doing the trick. I guess it's a benefit of having such a drug sensitive dog that these meds are doing the trick!

Now, onto Arlie's love life. Our new neighbor has a beautiful golden retriever named Bella. Arlie has taken to his new blonde girl and she obviously prefers her men tall dark and handsome as she loves playing with him! They have annual romps in the backyard and any ladylike behavior that has been instilled in Bella is out the window as she is a wild woman around the schnoodle. He isn't bothered by it and apparantly, likes to be chased by the girls! He also made friends with a lab named Pepper. Arlie loves his new neighborhood! So many new friends!

Oh, Arlie's bloodwork is still coming up strong! Atta boy!

Next, I'll try to get pics of Arlie and Bella on a "date". More to come!

Have a cookie Arlie!!!!!!

Three treatments in.

Xray done.

NO METASTASES!!!!

WAY TO GO ARLIE BARLEY!!!!!!!

I picked him up for the Hope Center today all excited and armed with treats. Imagine this scene with a three legged dog and without all the slobber. Oh, and obviously Arlie doesn't go for my jugular as the scene below. He ends up walking the techs over to me when they "release the hound".

Unfortunately Arlie's white blood cells are still on the lower side so we cant up the dose of chemo ("M" had reduced the last dose due to Arlie being so drug sensitive). Time for the meds again. I'm going to get it on video at how Arlie and I have the pills down to a science.

Tomorrow we get answers

I know I've been MIA for sometime. We are getting ready to move this coming Monday and I've been so busy packing up the house and getting the new house ready that I am too tired at night to blog. So sorry.

Update:

Tomorrow (Friday) Arlie goes in for his 3rd chemo treatment. Before he gets the meds, however, "M" is giving him another xray to check the lungs. I'm freaking out. I don't even want this xray. I'd rather stay blissfully ignorant and assume the chemo is doing its job and Arlie is just fine. Unfortunately, Greg is traveling for work tomorrow and will be hard to get a hold of so when "M" calls with good news or bad news, I can't talk to Arlie's Daddy.

"M" seems to think that everything will be just fine and I sure hope he's right. I'll make sure to post something as soon as I hear.

Love and paws,
Andrea

Spoiled schnoodle

We are in the process of a move so there are boxes everywhere. Arlie's bed has even been moved to the new house! It's kind of funny that he has a bed considering he sleeps on our bed and when he's in the family room he's on our couch. The other day I was on the phone in our living room. We have recently furnished this room and said there would not be any doggies (or kiddies) on the furniture. I turned around and look who had jumped up on our living room chairs. He's a rule breaker! It's funny how a diagnosis of osteosarcoma lets you get away with so much. We let him relax on there.

Daddy and Arlie wrestling with his duckie.

Yesterday I wish I had my camera out and recording. I opened the door to let Arlie and the kids out to play and Arlie took off after a squirrel!!! He was running like he did when he had 4 legs! I was rooting for the schnoo but the squirrel climbed the tree which frustrated Arlie to no end.

M called today. Arlie's white blood cell count is looking good. He gets another round of bloodwork on Fri.

On another note, the blog is now being viewed in the Philippines and Australia!!! So cool!!! Arlie says, "Woof!"