Cancer Sucks. Let's beat it
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Time to kick the crap out of the big "C"
I have started a page in honor of Arlie where the proceeds go entirely to canine cancer research. If you have any free change (and time) Arlie would greatly appreciate it. Here is the link:
Cancer Sucks. Let's beat it
Cancer Sucks. Let's beat it
Friday, June 28, 2013
Carry on
I went running yesterday. Now, you have to understand that I am notorious amongst my friends and hubby for having bad taste in music. They "claim" that I have the song collection of a 13 year old girl. I say this because as I was running listening to the Glee station on Pandora radio (don't judge me....) a song came on that made me run a little faster and put a smile on my face. I went home and watched the video on you tube and thought, "Stupid beginning of a video but still a great song." Listen if you'd like (but you might want to skip to the 50 second mark).
Time to carry on!!! Greg and I have decided to definitely get a new dog after the healing is done and the summer is over. We are thinking in the Fall. I know Arlie will understand. I believe he's on the rainbow bridge ready to shake his paw at us to stop crying and get on with life and with joy. As we all know, what a schnoodle wants...a schnoodle gets!
Time to carry on!!! Greg and I have decided to definitely get a new dog after the healing is done and the summer is over. We are thinking in the Fall. I know Arlie will understand. I believe he's on the rainbow bridge ready to shake his paw at us to stop crying and get on with life and with joy. As we all know, what a schnoodle wants...a schnoodle gets!
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Where do we go from here???
I have received so many emails and comments from Arlie's readers on this blog. Thank you so much for your kind words and expressing your condolences.
We knew this past weekend that this might be happening. When we talked to M he said that we are making the kindest and most loving decision we can for our sweet boy. If this was the best decision, why does it hurt so much???? The hardest part of losing a beloved member of your family is the first time you walk in the door. We were clutching Arlie's leash and collar and we had the vet techs shave off some of his hair. I know this sounds nuts, but I still stick my fingers in that bag that holds his fur and pet it.
My son is taking the news the worst. He cried himself to sleep last night clutching his Arlie stuffed animal all the while saying, "Oh Arlie. I miss you so much. Arlie...I want another huggie. Please come back". He woke up this morning crying again and he is trying so hard to be brave. I can tell. But, he is grieving so hard and is so upset. My daughter is doing a bit better and keeps saying, "I want Arlie bear!! I hate this day!!" (she's 3). As I"m typing this, my son is looking at old pictures of Arlie that are in an album over and over again. I hear him saying the angels shouldn't get Arlie cause he's our dog.
He also keeps asking if we are going to get a new dog. We will. Honestly, I thought we would wait such a long time because the pain is just so great. But now I'm realizing, I need another dog soon. The doorbell rang this morning and my instinct was to brace my ears for the sound of a schnoodle bark. However, when it rang....and there was nothing....it made the pain real. We will never hear Arlie's deep bark again.
My son is right....the angels shouldn't get him. He's OUR dog.
People are asking if I will continue this blog. I owe it to Arlie to end this blog as a healed family. We started it with such pain and sorrow with the diagnosis. I want to have the last entry be with a smile because that is what Arlie would want from us. To continue life and know that he is watching over us and will take good care of our family. So yes, blog posts will continue. Just not as often. Please check back every so often to see how we are doing.
Love and paws,
Andrea and Greg and of course, our schnoodle angel Arlie.
We knew this past weekend that this might be happening. When we talked to M he said that we are making the kindest and most loving decision we can for our sweet boy. If this was the best decision, why does it hurt so much???? The hardest part of losing a beloved member of your family is the first time you walk in the door. We were clutching Arlie's leash and collar and we had the vet techs shave off some of his hair. I know this sounds nuts, but I still stick my fingers in that bag that holds his fur and pet it.
My son is taking the news the worst. He cried himself to sleep last night clutching his Arlie stuffed animal all the while saying, "Oh Arlie. I miss you so much. Arlie...I want another huggie. Please come back". He woke up this morning crying again and he is trying so hard to be brave. I can tell. But, he is grieving so hard and is so upset. My daughter is doing a bit better and keeps saying, "I want Arlie bear!! I hate this day!!" (she's 3). As I"m typing this, my son is looking at old pictures of Arlie that are in an album over and over again. I hear him saying the angels shouldn't get Arlie cause he's our dog.
He also keeps asking if we are going to get a new dog. We will. Honestly, I thought we would wait such a long time because the pain is just so great. But now I'm realizing, I need another dog soon. The doorbell rang this morning and my instinct was to brace my ears for the sound of a schnoodle bark. However, when it rang....and there was nothing....it made the pain real. We will never hear Arlie's deep bark again.
My son is right....the angels shouldn't get him. He's OUR dog.
People are asking if I will continue this blog. I owe it to Arlie to end this blog as a healed family. We started it with such pain and sorrow with the diagnosis. I want to have the last entry be with a smile because that is what Arlie would want from us. To continue life and know that he is watching over us and will take good care of our family. So yes, blog posts will continue. Just not as often. Please check back every so often to see how we are doing.
Love and paws,
Andrea and Greg and of course, our schnoodle angel Arlie.
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| Kids saying goodbye before we brought him to M |
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Arlington Bear Hayken 11/17/05-6/25/13
It is with a very heavy heart that I tell my readers about the passing of one of the toughest, kindest, most loving dogs there is.
Arlington (Arlie) died in Greg and my arms this morning at 11:05EST. We held him close all the while telling him how much we loved him. Arlie has taught us so very much. He taught us how to be parents for when our human babies came along, he taught our children how to be kind and loving to animals, and most of all he taught us that the loyalty of a dog truly is first and foremost.
Oh Arlie, our hearts hurt and please watch over us on that rainbow bridge. I will post more later but for now we are regrouping with this major loss.
Love and paws,
Andrea and Arlie
Arlington (Arlie) died in Greg and my arms this morning at 11:05EST. We held him close all the while telling him how much we loved him. Arlie has taught us so very much. He taught us how to be parents for when our human babies came along, he taught our children how to be kind and loving to animals, and most of all he taught us that the loyalty of a dog truly is first and foremost.
Oh Arlie, our hearts hurt and please watch over us on that rainbow bridge. I will post more later but for now we are regrouping with this major loss.
Love and paws,
Andrea and Arlie
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Life's a beach
As promised, we took Arlie to the beach with what might be his last time. We joined our friends who have a condo in Dewey Beach, DE. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was probably one of the best weekends we have had to relax and watch Arlie play.
What I haven't mentioned is that the past few days Arlie has developed a terrible cough. It almost sounds like a child with croup. Today was the first day that he did it so many times he had trouble catching his breath. I don't know if it is from the cancer or if he picked something up at the beach. We go in on Tuesday for another xray and they will check his lungs and front leg. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, here's a pic of our son and his favorite friend before bedtime.
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| Arlie with his brother and sister |
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| A romp with his girl, Bella. |
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| One happy schnoodle |
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| Arlie's girl is a swimmer. Bella loves going out into the ocean to find sticks. Arlie, on the other hand, not so much. He never has been a water dog. When she went out a little too far for his liking, he made sure to bark and let us know and tell her that that was unacceptable. |
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| All tuckered out after a long day in the surf. Yes, Bella is kissing Arlie's paw. And yes, Arlie lets her. |
What I haven't mentioned is that the past few days Arlie has developed a terrible cough. It almost sounds like a child with croup. Today was the first day that he did it so many times he had trouble catching his breath. I don't know if it is from the cancer or if he picked something up at the beach. We go in on Tuesday for another xray and they will check his lungs and front leg. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, here's a pic of our son and his favorite friend before bedtime.
Monday, June 10, 2013
A boy and his dog
My daughter was sort of in a mood the other day. When she cries, Arlie cries. He feels that it is his job to tell me that his sibling is upset or agitated (like I don't already know).
Sunday, June 2, 2013
"Anticipatory Grief"
M had some pamphlets and books in his office titled, "Making Decisions". I really haven't read it. I can't read it because it makes this hell so real. As you can imagine, we are having a very hard time with this diagnosis. I have been shedding more tears then can be counted and I keep shaking my head like this is a terrible dream. Greg has read the book and told me I am experiencing something called "anticipatory grief". You think????
Here's what this book says about anticipatory grief:
"Common anticipatory grief emotions include anxiety, anger, denial, or guilt: anxiety about have to say goodbye to your pet, anger that your pet is sick, denial about the seriousness of your pet's condition, or guilt about things you believe you may have done that contributed to your pet's condition."
Let's see, in the past few days I have:
1) Had what I think is my first anxiety attack as I couldn't calm my hands from shaking
2) Anger that it is MY beloved pet that has to go through this
3) Denial it isn't as bad as it seems and that Arlie could be the pup that goes years after a "shadow" on his lung....It's a shadow right? I mean, it can't be a tumor? And if it is a tumor perhaps it's just benign and coincidence that it is there?
4) Writing M convinced (after reading the internet) that we did this with the food we gave him or the vaccines Arlie has had in his life. Asking if if it was US that caused this? He wrote back the following:
Here's what this book says about anticipatory grief:
"Common anticipatory grief emotions include anxiety, anger, denial, or guilt: anxiety about have to say goodbye to your pet, anger that your pet is sick, denial about the seriousness of your pet's condition, or guilt about things you believe you may have done that contributed to your pet's condition."
Let's see, in the past few days I have:
1) Had what I think is my first anxiety attack as I couldn't calm my hands from shaking
2) Anger that it is MY beloved pet that has to go through this
3) Denial it isn't as bad as it seems and that Arlie could be the pup that goes years after a "shadow" on his lung....It's a shadow right? I mean, it can't be a tumor? And if it is a tumor perhaps it's just benign and coincidence that it is there?
4) Writing M convinced (after reading the internet) that we did this with the food we gave him or the vaccines Arlie has had in his life. Asking if if it was US that caused this? He wrote back the following:
Hi Andrea,
In short: No. There is NO scientific evidence to link that with the
development of osteosarcoma. I don't know why people put that out
there. Please remember, you did not cause this or could have done
anything different to prevent it from occurring in Arlie.
For osteosarcoma, there are certain predisposing factors such as bone
implants and prior radiation to the leg that have been linked to the
cancer in some dogs. Also, pure breeds are more affected than mix breed
dogs in general, and large and giant breeds are predisposed to getting
bone cancer. However, cancer can strike any dog. Please read those
reports on the internet with caution (no editor keeping checks on those
reports and everyone is an 'expert').
I hope this helps you, have a good weekend, and please give Arlie a big
hug from me,
In short: No. There is NO scientific evidence to link that with the
development of osteosarcoma. I don't know why people put that out
there. Please remember, you did not cause this or could have done
anything different to prevent it from occurring in Arlie.
For osteosarcoma, there are certain predisposing factors such as bone
implants and prior radiation to the leg that have been linked to the
cancer in some dogs. Also, pure breeds are more affected than mix breed
dogs in general, and large and giant breeds are predisposed to getting
bone cancer. However, cancer can strike any dog. Please read those
reports on the internet with caution (no editor keeping checks on those
reports and everyone is an 'expert').
I hope this helps you, have a good weekend, and please give Arlie a big
hug from me,
I'm reading this email for the millionth time right now and thinking, "Let's see....bone implants? No. Prior radiation? No. Pure breeds? No. Large or Giant Breed? His father is a mini for heavens sake!!! Cancer can strike any dog? Crap.
I use this blog as my therapy. It's kind of like I'm pouring my heart out to people that I don't know and can judge me for being THIS sad about a dog. Here there are people in this world that are losing their loved humans to cancer and I'm crying and can't get a grip about my dog! I figure if you are reading this blog, you too love dogs and maybe even have a place in your heart for Arlie Barley.
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