Pitter patter of little feet?

Tomorrow is the one month anniversary of Arlie's death. It has been a very hard month for us. Everytime we start to feel better, we find something that reminds us of Arlie. It is kind of amazing that Arlie has visited all of our dreams this past month. I told you about Jackson's dream already. A week after his dream, Greg had a dream that he was curled up next to Arlie in bed. He told me it felt so real and he woke up calmed. I was starting to hope that Arlie would visit me in my dreams and then...he did! I dreamt that we had decided to get new hardwood floors throughout the house (random) and in one spot they forgot to put wood and there was a huge hole. As I was on all fours peering down the hole a schnoodle nose came up along the side of me. He lay down next to me watching me and nudging me with his nose. I remember thinking in my dream that this was, infact, a dream and wondering if I would be able to feel him since it wasn't real. He was looking at me and I decided to try and when I put my hand on his ears and neck I got to feel Arlie one more time. It was amazing. I remember thinking, "This is a dream and it isn't real but I don't care I never want it to end". I then laid down next to Arlie and he curled into me making his happy schnoodle noises he used to make. This time, it was my turn to wake up with a smile.

The day I woke up from that amazing dream, I found out that we will be schnoodle parents once again. In mid August it has almost been confirmed that Arlie's half sister will give birth to a litter of pups! That means, the Hayken household will hear the pitter patter of four little feet in mid/late October!!! We told the owner to give Malaya (the birth mom) extra treats from us. After all, Malaya is growing our little heart band aid in there!!! She deserves serious treats for that right?!?!?!?

Now, as you know Arlie's real name is "Arlington" after the city Greg and I were married and lived when we got Arlie Bear. We have since moved out of  Arlington and already have a name for our next pup already! It's going to be good. We will let you know once we have the little pup in our hands.

Jackson has already proclaimed this new puppy will be his "best buddy" and Gia has said that he will be "her newest pillow pet". Naturally Greg and I are super excited as well. You know who else is super excited???? My readers, friends, and family, neighbors, and a part of Arlie I think. He knows we have more love to give and wants us to be his happy humans. This new pup is going to be one loved and VERY wanted little guy.

Carry on.....

Love and Paws,
Andrea and angel Arlie

Message from a schnoo

My son came into my room yesterday with a big smile on his face. He told me he had a wonderful dream about Arlie. In his dream, the whole family was watching Arlie play with an angel and having such a great time. When they were finished playing, they went back up to the stars but not before Arlie let Jackson pet him one more time.

When Jackson first told me this story, I had to hide my tears because naturally it made me sad. Then, I thought about it all day and slept on it last night. This morning I went up to Jackson and said, "Honey, I've been giving a lot of thought to the dream you had with Arlie. I think it was Arlie's way of telling you he is happy and feels healthy and is ok so that you can stop feeling sad about him being gone."  Jackson's face lit up. He told me again what a great dream it was and I told him how lucky he was to be chosen out of everyone in the family that Arlie paid a visit. Arlie must have loved him so very much to go to him first. 

The kids keep asking about a new dog. I told him we are getting one but have to wait for the perfect dog that I know Arlie will pick out for us and that it probably isn't born just yet. We are waiting for a much wanted pregnancy confirmation of Arlie's half sister. Therefore, we would be getting Arlie's neice/nephew. Wouldn't that be wonderful??? The very thought of it makes me smile. I can't get a thought of a brown dog with a white chest out of my head.

I was cleaning behind the couch today and found 2 of Arlie's favorite toys. I started to get blue all over again. One step forward, two steps back. I know this sounds strange, but Greg and I keep seeing Arlie on quick glances and hearing him thump around our halls. When I go for a run, I see him running beside me with his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth all long and pink. Greg and I think little angel Arlie is waiting until a new pup comes along to fill the doggy void. Sounds crazy as I type it. Man, we miss him.

Today was just so....final

I picked up Arlie's ashes today. I wasn't expecting to walk into the Hope Center and have my heart racing and my palms sweaty....but they were. It seems like it's just so final. Arlie is gone but his legacy lives on.

To date we have collected $1176 in Arlie's name for canine cancer research. Donations came in nationwide in support of a schnoodle who gave so much and was so strong. I'm so proud of you Arlie Bear. You did it.

Almost halfway to our goal!!!

I just can't believe it. I logged onto the Friends are the Cure site today and we are almost half way to our goal of $1000.

Let me just say...to those that have donated just from learning about Arlie through this blog, I have no words to express my thanks and sincere gratitude. It is just amazing how Arlie is bringing out such generosity from people he hasn't even met!!!! I was saddened to see that some of those wonderful people who have donated have also experienced loss of their furry friend.

Let's have a moment to think of not only Arlie. But also Bennie, Nero, and Peaches. You will forever live in our hearts and the pain of you being gone is still so strong. However, your owners and I are going to carry on just as you would want us to.

If you have a spare moment (and spare change) please consider donating to the fight against canine cancer.

www.wearethecure.org/friends/arliesarmy

Kind regards,
Andrea and angel Arlie

Time to kick the crap out of the big "C"

I have started a page in honor of Arlie where the proceeds go entirely to canine cancer research. If you have any free change (and time) Arlie would greatly appreciate it. Here is the link:

Cancer Sucks. Let's beat it

Carry on

I went running yesterday. Now, you have to understand that I am notorious amongst my friends and hubby for having bad taste in music. They "claim" that I have the song collection of a 13 year old girl. I say this because as I was running listening to the Glee station on Pandora radio (don't judge me....) a song came on that made me run a little faster and put a smile on my face. I went home and watched the video on you tube and thought, "Stupid beginning of a video but still a great song." Listen if you'd like (but you might want to skip to the 50 second mark).

Time to carry on!!! Greg and I have decided to definitely get a new dog after the healing is done and the summer is over. We are thinking in the Fall. I know Arlie will understand. I believe he's on the rainbow bridge ready to shake his paw at us to stop crying and get on with life and with joy. As we all know, what a schnoodle wants...a schnoodle gets!

Where do we go from here???

I have received so many emails and comments from Arlie's readers on this blog. Thank you so much for your kind words and expressing your condolences.

We knew this past weekend that this might be happening. When we talked to M he said that we are making the kindest and most loving decision we can for our sweet boy. If this was the best decision, why does it hurt so much???? The hardest part of losing a beloved member of your family is the first time you walk in the door. We were clutching Arlie's leash and collar and we had the vet techs shave off some of his hair. I know this sounds nuts, but I still stick my fingers in that bag that holds his fur and pet it.

My son is taking the news the worst. He cried himself to sleep last night clutching his Arlie stuffed animal all the while saying, "Oh Arlie. I miss you so much. Arlie...I want another huggie. Please come back". He woke up this morning crying again and he is trying so hard to be brave. I can tell. But, he is grieving so hard and is so upset. My daughter is doing a bit better and keeps saying, "I want Arlie bear!! I hate this day!!" (she's 3). As I"m typing this, my son is looking at old pictures of Arlie that are in an album over and over again. I hear him saying the angels shouldn't get Arlie cause he's our dog.

He also keeps asking if we are going to get a new dog. We will. Honestly, I thought we would wait such a long time because the pain is just so great. But now I'm realizing, I need another dog soon. The doorbell rang this morning and my instinct was to brace my ears for the sound of a schnoodle bark. However, when it rang....and there was nothing....it made the pain real. We will never hear Arlie's deep bark again.

My son is right....the angels shouldn't get him. He's OUR dog.

People are asking if I will continue this blog. I owe it to Arlie to end this blog as a healed family. We started it with such pain and sorrow with the diagnosis. I want to have the last entry be with a smile because that is what Arlie would want from us. To continue life and know that he is watching over us and will take good care of our family. So yes, blog posts will continue. Just not as often. Please check back every so often to see how we are doing.

Love and paws,
Andrea and Greg and of course, our schnoodle angel Arlie.

Kids saying goodbye before we brought him to M